The decision to get sober is life-changing.
The physical, emotional, and mental transformations that come with a sober lifestyle are ripe with benefits, but they are also uniquely challenging. Despite the abundant positive impacts of getting sober, it can be difficult to relate to relationships that formerly revolved around drinking or drug use. You may notice that your friendships seemed more engaging or meaningful when you were drinking, or you may feel left out when your friends want to bar-hop every weekend.
Some relationships may have deteriorated due to the fallout of addiction. There is a lot of pain in realizing some relationships only value you as a drinking buddy and party friend, or that addiction may have harmed your most cherished connections. However, this realization can also guide you to friendships that value and accept you as you are on your current path.
Making new friends as an adult may seem intimidating, but the truth is, you deserve a network of relationships that appreciate your vulnerability and support your decision to choose sobriety. Committing to this process can help you establish truly meaningful relationships and help you sustain a sober lifestyle.
Here are 4 ways to get started finding friends as a sober adult.
Find a Community
Finding a new community to immerse yourself in is a great first step toward making sober friends. For some, joining a support group like Alcoholics Anonymous is a natural choice and can provide the support and connection they are looking for from a sober community. Others may not feel empowered by this choice and there are many other communities out there where you can meet other sober people. If a support group is not for you, you might find a new community by taking a course, exercising, volunteering, or joining a club.
Join a MeetUp Group
MeetUp is an online platform designed to create local communities and connect people with shared interests. You can use MeetUp to find groups of all shapes and sizes, but specifically, there are several sober communities that operate through this digital platform. These groups are typically less formal or structured than a traditional support group and focus more on bringing together people with shared interests and outlooks on life. If you’re having trouble finding a sober group in your area, consider starting your own! Creating the community you desire is an empowering way to commit to your sobriety and personal growth. If you’re based in Twin Falls, why not check out this one for Booze-Free Fun?
Try a New Hobby
A new hobby can be just the thing to expand your social community and shift your focus away from your previous lifestyle. Start small and make a list of your current hobbies and interests. You can also take inspiration from the things you wanted to try as a child or young adult, but didn't have the opportunity to explore. Perhaps you always wanted to take ballet classes, learn how to draw, or play chess.
You can also try searching for book clubs, fitness classes, cooking courses, or writing groups, whatever makes you feel lit up inside and excited. Acknowledging your commitment to trying new things is a huge (and scary!) first step. It may feel nerve-wracking to push the boundaries of your comfort zone at first, but welcoming a new hobby or experience with open arms can be incredibly enriching and connect you with others who share your newfound interests.
Struggling to find inspiration? Check out this post featuring 50 things to do instead of drinking for ideas on where to start.
Connect on Social Media
Making connections with others who share your story is a powerful way to establish supportive and authentic friendships, but sometimes the world just seems smaller after you've decided to get sober. If you're not quite ready to meet up with other sober individuals in-person, turning to social media can feel a lot more approachable. Social media is a great tool for expanding your worldview, connecting with like-minded individuals, and fostering community. There are many online groups and creators on sites like Facebook and Instagram that focus on wellness and life after sobriety, with participants from all over the world.
Losing friendships you once valued can be one of the most challenging parts of sobriety, but that doesn't mean you have to go it alone. Remember, you deserve a safe and supportive network that not only supports your decision to get sober but encourages you to commit to staying sober.
If you’re struggling with feelings of loneliness or adjusting to a newly sober lifestyle, reach out to The Walker Center. We offer a number of mental health services and support options for those in need of a helping hand. Give us a call today.
